I mean, Michael just called Angela fat and now homegirl is beyond angry, stressed, and hurt. If the lady wants to smoke a cig, let her smoke a damn cig. He will probably tell her AFTER they sleep together the first time, since Ximena insisted they share the bed. Maybe she will appreciate Ricky’s rose petals and passion for love! Now, when is Ximena going to realize that Ricky didn’t come to see her originally? The poor girl really likes Ricky and his “sexy bad boy face,” but I am cringing just thinking about her finding out Ricky’s truth. Meanwhile, Ricky, trying to be romantic, gets Ximena THREE bottles of wine (is he trying to get her wasted?!) and explains that she will be staying with him for a few days. She has NO IDEA that she is the second string for Ricky. Melissa who? It’s time for the back-up plan. Ricky is hopping right back on the horse and states, “I guess you can call me a hopeless romantic.” No, Ricky. It seems as though this trip wasn’t taken all for naught.
Wouldn’t you know that Ximena Parra, the “other” Colombian woman, is DTH- down to hang. It turns out that Ricky has been stringing along another lady on Colombian Cupid WHILE TALKING TO MELISSA. He is gonna make lemonade out of lemons and get right back into the scene. Ricky isn’t gonna let this trip bring him down. His “girlfriend” Melissa blew him off after meeting him on the first night of his trip.
Our man Ricky is trooping it out in Colombia. After a lot of dramatic back and forth through the translator app (HA!), Paul and Karine decide to give their relationship another shot. Paul realizes he needs to correct his vocal and “angry” behavior, but I think he’s pretty set in his ways. When Karine and Paul are alone, Paul apologizes and asks Karine how he can be a better version of himself. After hearing all of this, Paul states, “There’s a good chance there’s not gonna be a wedding.” I’m almost positive Karine’s dad is silently planning Paul’s murder. Karine’s parents very clearly look concerned and her mom keeps shooting a side eye to the camera. He is mean and “bans” her from talking to different people. Karine explains to her parents that she’s only happy when the couple does not fight (obviously) and she becomes emotional when she tells her parents that Paul is different when they are alone. And because he doesn’t want messages to get confused. Paul has realized that it is difficult to communicate with Karine’s parents, so he decided to learn the language of his soon-to-be-wife. Later, Karine and Paul meet up with Karine’s parents. Based on Paul’s past, yelling is a way better way to rid of his frustrations than lighting houses on fire like he has, so Karine should just deal with his screaming. Karine is fed up with Paul’s insecurities and worries. Karine gets annoyed and says, “I’ll take care of the baby and I think you’re an idiot.” Priceless. He even questions if Karine would change diapers for their baby. According to Paul, Karine is lazy and is nowhere near becoming a wife and mother. Sounds like a totally healthy relationship. Just the usual things… Housework, chores, social media strife. As the couple strolls casually through the slums of Brazil, they take a break to talk through the translator app about relationship struggles. Time to wedding plan, ya’ll! These two lovebirds are on the fast track to the chapel. After all, he is “not a violent person,” he’s “protective.” He promises he won’t get in trouble and I actually believe the guy. Rachel asks Jon to “leave the past in the past” and Jon stares at her with that dumb smile that always seems to be pasted on his face. “I ended up punching a group of guys in the face” and therefore “was convicted of bodily harm without intent.” One of the men even “sustained an eye injury.” Because of this, he got kicked out of college, but never spent time in the slammer. Jon explains that he “acted” and therefore has been brought up on “assault” charges. Before her time in England runs out, Rachel begins the awkward process of getting the truth about Jon’s criminal record. It’s time for Rachel to get to the bottom of Jon’s past. Nor do they sugarcoat Jon’s past of “womanizing.” Man, don’t these guys know the word “loyalty?” Speaking of criminal records, Jon’s buddies don’t shy away from that topic. Hold up-Rachel has TWO kids?! This is more of a bombshell than finding out that Jon could never come to America due to his criminal record.
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